Memorial weekend

Memorial Day weekend was busy for us indeed. We had a massive Memorial day project going on to renovate some living space to make two new, small rooms for Colin and Tristan. That in itself could have taken up the 4 day "weekend" but we also had in the plans a Boy Scout Memorial day event at the American Legion, which the boys needed to attend. A visit to my Mom who lives two hours south who although she was finally recovering from her broken leg was now unwell again and about to be diagnosed with shingles and needed help with household chores and shopping. AND getting the first plants into our gardens since Memorial weekend is considered the first dates that are safe to plant, and will be frost free, in New Hampshire. We did manage to get to it all and by the end of the weekend each of our four growing children had a space to call their own. We were all simply exhausted though, especially me who tried to be super Mom and worked almost around the clock at some points during the long weekend, on the room change arounds.

Each of the kids has a raised garden plot like this to plant whatever they want. This is in addition to our main, larger garden.

Scouts Memorial Day. First the boys met at the legion and got into formation to march with the veterans. Then there was an indoors ceremony followed by three cemetery and memorial visits.

So what shall we learn

As my children get older the focus of their education changes and I make sure they give a lot of input into what they want to learn and what they need to learn to accomplish their short term and long term goals. This is very different from their early years when my job as I saw it was to fascilitate a well rounded learning experience and to make sure they enjoyed learning rather than seeing "school" as a dreadful task to get through each day. Now maybe they don't always enjoy it although I think they do most of the time but their education is first and foremost designed to help them get to where they want to go. Some have college goals, some personal goals, 3 of 4 have scout goals, to learn and do a certain number of Boy Scout Merit badges or Girl scout Interest Patches. I found it was easy enough to incorperate the learning for those patches into our daily homescholol work. So we're working through waht would be best for each child next year. I give the kids a yearly end of year poll. They fill in some questions I've asked like what they liked, didn't like, saw as beneficial, saw as a waste of time..... this past year and also what they want to learn, want to do more of/less of etc for next year. For my older kids I go through the not picky stuff such as high school requirements they need to be aware of and tests they need to take if they will be heading off to college some day. We're still planning, next year is still a work in progress but here is where we stand.

Trevor's birthday

One May 26th we had Trevor's 17th birthday. Birthdays are never easy for Trevor because he doesn't like change or surprises and birthdays are both of those things. Over the years we have learned how to make birthdays easier for him. This year we had friends over but they know him well and know we don't make it chaotic and don't ever sing the Happy Birthday song. In the morning I asked Trevor what he would like for his birthday lunch when the friends would be there. First he said Pizza then he said no actually he wasn't sure. Then I ordered pizza anyway since the time was passing and our friends would be here soon. Thankfully Trevor then decided that pizza was the right thing. We had pizza with friends and then I was going to do the birthday cake and Trevor said he didn't want it then. Well I needed to be able to give some to our guests so I asked him if it would be OK to cut it in half, give his friends some cake and save the other half for when he was ready, thankfully Trevor agreed to that. After the pizza and cake we left Trevor to play computer games with his friend while the rest of us went to the lake for awhile and then visited Kiwi's puppies. We later had Boy Scouts. When we got home at night Trevor finally felt ready to have his birthday gifts. Then shortly before midnight, when I was about to fall asleep, Trevor said he needed to blow out his candles and have some cake before midnight, while it was still his birthday. So with the friends long gone home, the younger siblings asleep and Bobby still at work I brought out the cake for just Trevor and I. He blew out his candles and I guess made a wish. It wasn't a typical birthday but not a terrible one either. With autism you just never can predict how things will go. I have had 17 years to learn how birthdays and holidays can work for this particularly AS kid so it's gotten easier. I know not to take it personally if he doesn't want his gifts at all. I know how to keep things toned down and not get upset that his version of fun is not what most people's idea of fun is. With autism you have to throw away all the usual expectations and be happy with the little bits of joy you get. We've had birthdays and Christmases where Trevor wouldn't come out of his room and said he didn't like his gifts at all. We've had holidays where he surprised us and joined in well and we got to have those happy family moments. This birthday was in between and I will always treasure the fact that he wanted that little bit of celebration. The fact that he let me take a picture without making it impossible to get a good one (just needed one re-take because he wasn't "ready" so looked down for the first one). And that he asked to blow out his birthday candles before midnight.

Trevor at 17, don't take the picture YET I'm not ready!

Trevor graces me with just one looking up picture. Although he needed to wear the cap due to the bad haircut I recently gave him as he has never been able to do the barber or hairdresser but boy did we try.

So what of the future? Trevor at 17 wants to learn how to drive and his younger sister, who has been counting the days until 15.5 which is when they can learn to drive in our state, will soon be old enough to start learning too so they can do that together. Trevor has been very diligent with his education and has most of his must do courses out of the way. Trevor has no interest in getting a job yet, while his younger siblings wish they were old enough for a job. Trevor is learning several languages at once and making up his own language. For the next year or so I will encourage him to follow his interests with his learning. I will help to guide him further toward community college or work and will remind myself constantly that although he is not a typical 17 year old he will get there in the end. Long ago soon after his first diagnosis on the autism spectrum I watched some material, probably by Tony Attwood, about spectrum kids and heard that they tend to be "young" for their age. In the childhood years as much as 2/3rds of their own age, for instance a 10 year old might be 7 developmentally. I don't think Trevor is only 13-ish developmentally but he is a little young for his age and will probably start college a little later than typical but just because we have to do an extra year or so of high school it doesn't mean he will never get there maturity wise, it just might be later.

I can also remind myself of the positives of autism. AS kids aren't like typical kids but they often have less of the "bad" stuff that comes with the teen years. Trevor has no interest at all in alcohol, drugs or smoking or even drinking soda -it's not healthy and if it's not healthy he will not do that! Trevor doesn't give in to peer pressure, he cares far too much about what he wants to care what everyone else is doing or wants or is wearing. He doesn't slack with his school work because he knows he needs to do it and be done so he can move on to what he wants to do. He is a very black and white thinker, I need to do X to do Y ie: graduate high school, get a job, earn that video game...he will simply do X to get Y. So in some ways he's my easiest child now that we're past the younger years and the regular meltdowns. So I'll wait and see what happens in the next year, one more year until my first child is officially an adult!

Rocket Boys

During the spring one of the scout merit badges that Colin and Tristan were working on was Space Exploration. One of the requirements is to build and launch a model rocket. I also found myself to be a merit badge counselor for this badge since our troop didn't have one. Knowing these things we headed off to watch the Kearsarge area rocket society do some launches. We weren't sure what to expect but came away glad that we went. The younger boys now love rocket launching and I learned the things I need to know to sucessfully run this badge with other scouts. We thought we would only get to watch the launches but the rocket group involved the boys in every part of several launches. They put together rockets, learned the parts of a rockjet, learned about the importance of recovery wadding, launched rockets, ran into far off fields to recover rockets and did some fun missions to test height, launch a pesky tick far away, bring some not so pesky passengers back to the ground safely (ants) and recorded some footage from a rocket that was launching. They also saw some launch failures and learned some troubleshooting. A lot of fun was had by all and a new hobby for the younger boys was born. Trevor and Hayley watched and helped the boys to build some rockets and they want to do some launches too. The rocket club launches about 7 times a year and rockets and motors are not too expensive so this is a hobby we can afford both time wise and money wise.

Below are photos of rockets being launched, recovered and a turtle that was found while recovering a rocket (it was later put back to a safe place near the water).

April no MAY Showers bring June flowers?

The old saying is April Showers bring May flowers, here in New Hampshire it's more like May showers bring June flowers. In April we still have as good a chance to get snow as rain. May seems to be our rainy month. Just when we're all enjoying warmer temperatures and wwaiting impatiently for summer the rains arrive and keep us indoors plus bring hoards of biting insects with them. We still managed to get out in May and even enjoy the nearby lake but as the photos below show, the beach was missing due to the high rain level for most of May.

Freeze doesn't mind if the beach is covered in lake, he's all about chasing sticks in the water and having a swim!

The homeschool buffet and how not to fill your plate too many times

We had a busy year. Too busy.

I liken homeschooling to a restaurant buffet. You have a lot of choices and can go back for second or thirds. It all looks so tempting. Sometimes even when you're full you take just a few more things. Then you regret it later. It is wonderful, simply wonderful that the homeschool buffet is so full, even here in rural NH. Our children have so many opportunities. They can specialize or dip into many great things. They never lack for social opportunities and have all the same field trip experiences as their public and private schooled comrades. they can go to "Zoo School" or "Space School" or Aquarium School" or run a pretend city. They can spend a year visting all the living history museums. They can take classes at co-ops and farms or even study science and engineering at MIT! The possibilities are endless!!

Our years do vary, we often seem to balance our lives out by alternating busy years with quiet years. I don't know what I was thinking this year because we were on the go wayyyyyy too much! One part of the problem may be that we home educators are blessed with more opportunities than ever! Some homeschoolers I know can remember a time when you had to search high and low to find another homeschooler in the surrounding towns. Some even remember when homeschooling was considered illegal! They may have travelled several hours to get to a homeschool group or single event. Now there are so many of us home educators and we are so diverse that there are literally hundrends of classes and activities to choose from each month.

One reason for such abundance of homeschool opportunities is that we are a diverse bunch and we all plan activities and events that interest us, Another reason is that our numbers have grown and businesses would love our business! That museum that was empty in the mornings now offers morning classes for homeschoolers. That dance studio, karate dojo, music class, theater, ice rink, ski resort, bowling alley...that was slow during school hours advertises special classes and rates for homeschoolers who can come in during these formally slow morning hours. The museums and places of interest that offer field trips for schools also welcome and advertise to the homeschooling community. I don't even have to think a minute before I can come up with 20 semi-local places I could click over to and find the listing of homeschool classes and field trips. there is also a bounty of homeschool groups and co-ops. With many homeschoolers many groups are needed. Where once there may have been one or two groups within a geographic region there are now 20 or more. I live in a quite rural area but within a 1 hour drive I can get to 20 homeschool groups that meet for classes or field trips or support meetings. We are blessed with options. So how best to limit oneself!

I guess the best way is to carefully examine each offering be it class, field trip, club, sport, group, lesson.... and then plot out the best ones for your family on the calender. If the calendar gets too full then hard choices need to be made. Deciding just how many busy days each week or month you will allow and then sticking to it will help. I absolutely have to do that. Three of four kids in our family felt we were too busy this year. We did great things, had fun experiences, learned a lot, got the younger boys back to many places that they were too young to remember the first time around. But in the end it got to be too much and we started to get burned out. We "called in sick" to a couple events we had paid for but just couldn't fit in or badly needed a day off from. During the winter we had one day a week where we had to be in two places at once, as you can imagine that didn't work too well most weeks! I started to prioritise but more needs to be done.

Already I can see a lot of what will be on offer for the coming year from the three homeschool groups I check in with the most. I am so glad that there is not too much tempting me yet. I will be strong as more opportunities are posted. My goal is set, we won't be on the go for more than an average of 2.25 days per week. What a funny number but 2 wasn't practical based on what I already know and 3 sounded like too much! I have a goal at least and that's a great start. Now to visit the buffet, that is homeschool sign ups and commitments, without over filling our plates!

Planetarium

On Friday we went to the Planetarium with another family to work on some Boy scout badges. The planetarium in our State is not that big but there are fun things to do there and knowledgeable staff.

We were able to cover a good part of the Space Exploration merit badge and a little of the Astronomy badge. The boy scouts, 6 of them in all had way too much fun with some of the interactive features at the planetarium.

Kit Plane:

Dancing on the sun:

Weather forecasting:

They would have spent all day in the weather forecasting area if we had let them. You could record yourself reading a weather script and then play it back on a monitor. Whenever anyone tried to give a weather report the other boys did all sorts of silly things to distract the forecaster!

Tristan plays with some building blocks:

A staff member tells us about space potties!

Old style jet pack:

Ejection seat below, these are no longer used, they decided there is not much point in ejecting in space!

Parts from a space shuttle:

Front tire from a space shuttle, the tires are used only once:

Our small state planetarium only rates high enough for a few shuttle parts I guess, it would be cool to see real shuttles and other space craft!

A staff member talks to the boys about some scientific principles:

Another area that held a lot of interest was golfing a rocket into space:

This was quite fun for the kids, if they got the golf ball in the hole the spacecraft would rise and then a lunar module would go across the room on a string and land on the moon!

We learned about the need to exercise in space:

and about dangerous gamma rays:

Saw a very small Star Trek movie display:

and took a very small slide into the gift shop where we tried not to spend too much money!